Hannah Sweetman Nutrition

Learn how to manage stress outside of your control.

Stress can be caused by many situations within our lives some situations are within our control, and some are sadly not. To help manage stress we must bring clarity to the situation. We can achieve this by analysing the situation and providing a pathway to manage or eliminate the stress from your life.

Eckhart Tolle defines stress as the resistance to what is, and the desire for life to be different. When we are not happy, and we want the situation causing our stress to be different.

If we desire our lives to be different and to change the situation causing our stress we must understand and analyse the situation. By doing so we can gain an awareness of what is causing us to feel a certain way. This allows for us to determine if a change is even possible. 

Before we can analyse the stress within our lives, we must first accept the present moment exactly as it stands. As an example, Tolle refers to imagining that you are stuck in the mud. You may be angry about being stuck, or you may complain and adopt a victim mentality. “You become a victim in your mind. ‘Why is this happening to me, always to me?’”. “Just look at the situation without labeling it: ‘This is where I am right now.’” This is accepting the present moment exactly how it stands.

Once you have accepted the present moment you can analyse the stress you are currently under to gain a further understanding. As you delve deeper into what the trigger is for your stress you will want to use the following questions to help make sense of the situation. 

• When and how are you triggered? 
• When does it happen? 
• How does it affect you? 
• What are the actions of this person/situation that triggers you?
• What is the most important aspect that is affecting you? 
• What actions can you take and how would these actions fix the situation? 

Come up with a list of possible solutions. With those solutions what are the positives and what are the consequences of those solutions.

• How does this align with your values? 
• How would the person you want to react to this situation? 
• What do you value? 
• What do you believe in? 
• What is your purpose (you're why)? 
• What is it that you want right now? 
• Why are you currently not going after what you want right now? 
• What is stopping you? 
• Is the thing stopping you from something that you want to change?

“Accept, Change, Leave, or Suffer.” When you find yourself in a present moment where there is a reality you are not ok with, there are four options you have:

1. You can accept it. By accepting, you have chosen to surrender to the present moment. Resistance to what is will only bring suffering.
2. You can change it. If your present reality is unacceptable, make the change after you have accepted what happened, and apply those changes so it does not happen again. Total change might not be immediate, but often starting a change in the correct direction will lower stress quickly.
3. You can leave it. If there is nothing you can do to change the situation, and you cannot accept it, then the only logical option is to leave, everything else is insanity.
4. Or you can suffer. People chose to suffer only because they have convinced themselves that it is normal. 




So next time you find your present moment unacceptable remember: 

“Accept, Change, Leave, or Suffer.” - Eckhart Tolle